Thursday, December 30, 2004

Parody of Blog (Episode 3)- Resident Olympics

This week’s Parody includes Aint Chicken and Morning Retort, both excellent blogs that can be found in the consult section.

Tonight would be the night that Surgery will learn their lesson. Their outburst at the annual Christmas party must be addressed, we decided, even if they were pissed drunk . Medicine doesn’t like to be slapped in the face no matter how much jargon is used, no matter how funny it was. We certainly took it personally. Tonight, the first annual resident Olympics were going to be held and 3 South converted into our own Roman Coliseum. Surgery versus Medicine, they must learn that we are not to be messed with and they will learn this magnificently .

As three AM approached we changed from our white coat and into something much more deadly. We stole the wheelchairs from the rehab floor and lined them on opposite ends of this barely lit third level. A long corridor of pain and suffering was going to be transformed into a hallway of high speed colliding residents and chairs in the first ever game of wheelchair chicken. The Resident Olympics were born.

In our hearts we knew Surgery didn’t have it in them. As MorningRetort, the Surgery resident, lined up on the opposing sideline we saw how his glee had turned to fear. Even a slight glint of frustration was obvious in his worrisom face. The chairs of steel were loaded with their respective drivers and as the overhead system glared, paging resident after resident, we began pushin the first of these metal train wrecks down the corridor on a collision course with an unlucky surgery resident. A train wreck of disproportionate importance. A battle for the house.

AintChicken volunteered to be the pilot for our deadly wreck of metal. Her name made and reputation as a downright jedi of transformation made her the obvious choice. And as we pushed this cocoon to momentum previously unknown we knew that there was no turning back. We pondered all the things we never said and we knew that soon there would be relief; soon we would feel MIATA.

To be continued next week…

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