Saturday, March 12, 2005

Intern Hostile Takeover

I would like to introduce you to the new head of our medicine team. Hey, who am I kidding, the new chief of medicine, the *COMMISH. She presented to intern orientation only 5 days ago ready for hard labor, the kind all interns must endure to earn the blood stains on their scrubs. She prepared extensively, training for nine hard months, even opting to delay initiation an extra two weeks so that she could perfect her LP technique. Moreover, on her way out she stopped to admire the cervix, for thirty six hours. Not since the days of papanicolaou was a cervix so thoroughly examined. Accordingly, in her first days she impressed the staff with her soft nature and humility.

She was assigned to a team headed by the Mad House Madman. Her credentials were impressive and he specifically requested she work with him. As the resident he was the brains and she was power, a perfect team.

Unaware of the true ruthlessness of this timid intern the situation soon spiraled out of control. For even as she was being chauffeured to her home she already set in motion a chain of events which would shake the foundations of the hierarchy of medicine.

Interns, formerly bottom feeders in the ass-kissing stepladder, were about to receive a promotion, while Residents, the brains that fuel the machine were demoted to nothing more than diet consultants and nursing assistants, always at beckoning call to change another diaper.

Upon arrival to her new place of residence she proceeded to wail tenor all night long. Quickly draining all strength of resistance from the powerful resident, rendering him incapacitated, like a wounded animal.

“Clean my Ass Madmad”
“Feed me bitch”
“Shake me Madman, AGAIN, No I’m not asleep yet, don’t piss me off”

And I thought Interns were stupid.

The picture above is the real character, yes the REAL thing, take that HIPAA.
I am sorry, I promised myself I would never become a parent who only talks about their kids. Of course, this is a medical blog, of sorts I guess, but I can’t control myself. So, unfortunately, you will have to excuse my annoying posts about the new love in my life. Read them along with the writings on my work and hospital life. Too bad for you. ;-}